“Cover your mouth with your hands, then sit on your hands.”
– a tried and true method for staying out of impulsive or compulsive trouble.
I used to have a note taped to my desk, as a reminder to me. “Shut up and be nice,” it said. It worked as long as I didn’t have my desk covered in papers.
“I write lots of notes in meetings. That’s how I keep my mouth shut.”– Adam S., marketing consultant
When you were in second grade (or high school, or grad school), were you one of those hand-in-the-air “ooh! ooh! I know! call on me!” kids?
Apparently, that kind of thing doesn’t always go away.
There’s a quote somewhere about “you have two ears and one mouth so you can listen twice as much as you talk.” Hard sometimes to do in meetings where the things your colleague (or clients or staff) are saying keep giving you ideas you want to share.
But, obviously, sometimes you need to let the other person keep talking. Even if you’re only half-listening. Because half-listening but looking like you’re listening is almost always more politically welcome than half-listening but obviously not listening because you’re talking!
So use your pencil. Write down what you really want to say so it gets out of your body (where it’s making you twitch for however long it’s confined there). Then, later, you can share your brilliant thoughts when they’re done talking and finally ready to hear what you have to say.
——–
related: (1) I now know that when I want Adam to listen to me, I should hand him a notepad and a pen.
“No” is one of our power words. How do you say “No”?
Professional organizer Ramona Creel has a list of twenty ways. Here are seven of them, good for the office and for all the other places that people want some of your professional time (homeowners association board, anyone?):
I DO NOT HAVE ANY MORE ROOM IN MY CALENDAR
* be honest if your schedule is filled
* “filled” doesn’t have to mean really filled
* know when you are scheduled as much as you are willing and stopI HATE TO SPLIT MY ATTENTION AMONG PROJECTS
* let people know that you want to do a good job for them
* but you can’t when your focus is too divided or splintered
* you will be more effective if you focus on one project at a timeI NEED TO LEAVE SOME FREE TIME FOR MYSELF
* it’s okay to be selfish — in a good way!
* treat your personal time like any other appointment
* block off time in your calendar and guard it with your lifeI WOULD RATHER DECLINE THAN DO A MEDIOCRE JOB
* know when you aren’t going to be able to deliver a quality product
* the reason doesn’t matter — not enough time, wrong skills, etc.
* whatever the reason is enough for turning a request downLET ME HOOK YOU UP WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN DO IT
* if you aren’t available to help out, offer another qualified resource
* helping to connect people is a valuable service to offer
* make sure the person you refer will represent you wellNO
* sometimes it’s okay to just say no!
* just say it in a way that expresses respect and courtesy
* leave the door open for good relationsTHIS REALLY IS NOT MY STRONG SUIT
* it’s okay to admit your limitations
* knowing what you can handle and what you can’t is a skill
* your time will be more efficiently spent on something you do well
Click here for -> the full twenty.
Credit line, per request from the author:
“Content provided by OnlineOrganizing.com — offering “a world of organizing solutions!” Visit www.onlineorganizing.com for organizing products, free tips, a speakers bureau, get a referral for a Professional Organizer near you, or get some help starting and running your own organizing business.”
Promises
Keep them. If asked when you can deliver something, ask for time to think. Build in a margin of safety. Name a date. Then deliver it earlier than you promised.
The world is divided into two classes of people: the few people who make good on their promises (even if they don’t promise as much), and the many who don’t. Get into Column A and stay there. You’ll be very valuable wherever you are.
You might suppose that the higher you go in the ranks of business executives, the more word-keepers you find. My experience doesn’t substantiate this.
– Robert Townsend in Up the Organization: How to stop the Corporation from Stifling People and Strangling Profits. 1970.
Townsend wrote this book shortly after leaving Avis, which he had converted from a nothing company to the prominent (and profitable) “We Try Harder” No. 2 to Hertz.
Most of his book focuses on the corporate world in which we suffer from or flee. The post above, though, points directly at us as frequent culprits. Adults with attention deficit disorder are very prone to a quick jump to “yes” — as a way to please others, and as a side-effect of our inability to gauge how long it takes to get things done (either the thing we say “yes” to or the other things we need to do, first). Townsend’s double-advice to us is to (a) break the habit and (b) be careful in trusting that our business partners have broken their habit.
In other posts, I’ll write more on the power of keeping promises (first to ourselves, and then to others). But for now, I’ll just point you to Amazon where you can buy a used copy of this out-of-print book from just $1.26: Up the Organization: How to Stop the Corporation From Stifling People and Strangling Profits
Share what you know. Ask what you don’t…
at the ADDexecutive Forum — www.addexecutive.com/forum, a user-driven space for sharing your own stores, questions, and advice about your own efforts for a successful career as an executive, professional, or business owner with ADD. Topics from the ADDexecutive Forum will no doubt get picked up by the blog editors, and perhaps vice versa.
We welcome your feedback.
The good news is that while ADD can be debilitating in children and other normal human beings, it is actually an asset in executives. I can’t imagine what corporate life would be like without it–sitting like a slug for hours attending to conversations, bending my nose to the grindstone as I tackle one aggravating duty after another…feh![Instead,] I’m…* Often blurting out answers before questions are completed. Even when they’re wrong. I know many more wrong answers than right ones, and I like to offer them as often as I possibly can. I hate waiting to reply to people. It means that they’re talking and I’m not.
* Often interrupting or intruding on others. Have you ever known a senior manager who didn’t do this? You’ll be sitting in somebody’s office, having interrupted what they were doing, and another boss just strolls in and interrupts you interrupting the other guy, completely intruding on your intrusion! Man!
– excerpted from Stanley Bing’s Diagnosis: Executive ADD, Fortune Magazine, 31 May 2004.
This Bing guy seems to be onto something. Click link for the full article. You know, just as soon as you’re done interrupting somebody.
Business travel and the ADDexec: On the plus side, you get to move around a lot (except when you’re sitting mid-row in coach class), see a bunch of new things, and meet a bunch of new people. On the down side, there are a million more opportunities to be late, get distracted, and forget stuff at the home office.
Anyone have some good tips for making an ADDexec’s travel go a little easier?
Here are some standbys to get us started:
* keep a full toiletry kit packed and ready at all times.
* keep said toiletry kit next to your (high quality) suitcases.
* make a re-usable spreadsheet for your packing list remember/plan for what items you need to pack. Mine has sections for: work clothes, leisure clothes, outerwear (coats, shoes), toiletries, meds, personal electronics, work equipment, and work files.
* use the packing list as a checklist for packing up.
* make three copies of your passport and drivers’ license: one goes with your suitcase (in case you lose your wallet and need to tell authorities who you are), one goes to your assistant or a trusted peer at the home office, and one stays at home. Oh, and include those “call if your card is lost or stolen” phone numbers for your bank and credit cards.
* don’t schedule as many meetings as you think you can fit in. You can’t.
* if you’re driving to the airport but won’t use your keys while you’re traveling, get a good clip to attach your keychain to your luggage when you’re not carrying them around.
* don’t try to supervise your home office while you’re on the road. You can’t. So give someone else a chance, for Pete’s sake.
* leave your parking slip in your car before you head for the gates (why carry it around while you travel?) and write down where you park your car at the home airport!
* give yourself extra time to get to appointments. Sure, it’s no fun to sit in a client’s reception area while you wait for your meeting time to finally roll around. But guess what’s even less fun?
* always put your airline ticket, passport, and wallet in the same place(s) when you travel. That way you won’t do the “where’s my ticket?” pocket-patting Macarena at every security check.
* make an online backup of your itinerary, ticket info, and other useful info if you can do so safely. For example, you can mail your info to a free webmail account (like gmail, Yahoo! or Hotmail), or you can scan them and leave them as graphic files on a hidden or password-protected site.
OK, so those are the easy tips. What have you got?
The “H” part of “ADHD” sometimes gets short shrift in the talk about adults with attention deficit disoder, but here’s an ADDexec (ADHDexec?) who takes plenty of advantage of his hyperkinetic nature.
“TODDLERS know Magnus Scheving, the boss of LazyTown Entertainment, as Sportacus. The hero of “LazyTown”, a children’s television programme that promotes healthy lifestyles, Sportacus lives in an airship, performs somersaults at the drop of a hat and spends his time thwarting the plans of the town’s lazy-minded villain, Robbie Rotten. The role fits Mr Scheving as snugly as Sportacus’s blue lycra suit. He has built a colourful business driven by his own cartoonish levels of energy. “I wasn’t made to sit at a desk,” he says, wriggling in his chair and constantly jumping up to scribble on a whiteboard, grab another piece of fruit or emphasise a point.”
The Economist quickly points out that movement isn’t all that Scheving is about:
“Restlessness should not be confused with a lack of focus. In his 20s, Mr Scheving and a friend challenged each other to succeed at a sport neither knew anything about. Mr Scheving wound up with competitive aerobics, became European champion twice and finished second in the world.”
It’s clear that Scheving has talent to spare — physical, creative, and intellectual. His success relies on harnessing and blending them all in a way that works, not only to create a great television show, but an entire brand built around not entertainment but an entire “lifestyle” for children.
reference: Fit for purpose in The Economist, Mar 29th 2007
From The Economist print edition
Your feedback is always welcome, especially during Phase I of the ADDexecutive release.
Please email your comments to the ADDexecutive editor:
phil .at. addexecutive .do. com
The ADDexecutive is published by Phil Marsosudiro, PO Box 3157, Durham NC 27715.
The ADDexecutive is launching in three phases through 2007.
Phase I, now live, is the ADDexecutive.com blog with articles written by the ADDexecutive editor, Phil Marsosudiro. Most of these articles will touch on corporate or personal management issues related to the ADD/ADHD mind in the workplace.
Phase II, on schedule for July, will include a panel of new contributors including clinicians (MDs, PhDs, MSWs, etc.) with insights into medicine, psychology, and other therapeutic issues that relate to workplace ADD; and other professionals (JDs, MBAs) with more thoughts on executive performance, coaching, and legal issues related to the Americans with Disabilities Act andmore.
Phase III, already in progress, is the opportunity for readers to contribute through the blog comments and through the forum. Reader-contributions are doubly useful: they bring knowledge to other readers, while also providing the authors an opportunity to share their knowledge — a therapeutic act on its own.
Planned updates in July:
phil .at. addexecutive .dott. com
