The Washington Post Style Invitational recently asked contestants  to create a fictional cable television channel.   Here’s one for us:

ADHDTV (a.k.a. Short-Attention-SPAN): In rotation every two seconds, all 18,000 cable channels on your system. So throw away the remote, fellas. (Marcy Alvo, Annandale; Vicki Zatarain, Washington)

See the whole list here.  (But not when you’re supposed to be working!)

We folk with ADHD sometimes plow quickly into action before taking the time to ask advice. With simple things this is often fine.  But with complicated things?

From the Accordion FAQ

Q: How likely am I to pick up bad habits by teaching myself?

A:  A friend of mine’s son taught himself to play concertina. One day he noticed that everyone else was playing theirs upside down relative to the way he was doing it. Needless to say, the rest of the world was not wrong. Please make sure that you at least know which side is for the right hand vs. the left hand.

– Accordion FAQ compiled by Alan Polivka (1993)

A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.– sign on the door of Eric R., intended to thwart the best ADHD efforts of our project manager Steve P.

Eric was a steady planner and an excellent engineer whom I worked with at my first job.  Steve P. was our boss — visionary, ambitious and always lighting fires.  I’d say that Eric’s sign worked about 75% of the time for getting Steve off his back.

The bonus is that this sign works two ways for an executive with ADD.  First, it gives people a means of forcing you into a little more organization.  Second, it’s a reminder that when other people try to dump an “emergency” into your lap, you’ll be reminded that maybe you’re not actually required to attend to it right then and there.

All man’s troubles come from not knowing how to sit still in one room.

–17th century French philosopher and mathematician Blaise Pascal, apparently familiar with adult ADHD. Quote from the online-readable Pensées

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One of my business partners and I are in the habit of interrupting people whenever they’ve said something that gets us excited.

Never mind that they’re only on sentence 2 of a 4-sentence paragraph that we will really profit from hearing… Sentence 2 made us think of something interesting that we have to share right now!  Fortunately, John and I trust and like each other enough that we can interrupt the interrupt with something like, “Hey, John — Amy’s still talking!”.  Said with a smile, it usually gets a giggle and a shut up.

The key to the trust is that we know that we have each other’s interests in mind.  When he interrupts, I know he’s not shutting me down to make me look bad — he’s shutting me down so I can get what I want.  And he always does it with a smile.

A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.

– source unknown.

And a distraction is something you don’t need to be doing right now, but that’s too attractive to resist paying attention to. And our two options for dealing? Either (1) preventing the distraction from catching our eye or (2) learning to quit paying attention as quickly as we start. Option (1) is stronger but not always possible. Option (2) can be learned.

Daffynition: Procrastinators — Leaders of Tomorrow

– submitted by Andrew Morgan, Boys Life, October 2007

If you don’t think it’s strange that you have more than one meeting scheduled for the same time slot… you might have executive attention deficit disorder.

In the Future:

People will change clothes every six minutes but still never be quite happy with their appearance.

–George Carlin, 2006 daily calendar.

Some things ask for our attention but don’t really require it. Just because you can monkey with something doesn’t mean you should do it.  And just because you changed it doesn’t mean you’re going to be happier about it.  If people reminded me of this once a week, it wouldn’t be a bad thing.

If your web browser has more open tabs than you have fingers… you might have executive attention deficit disorder.